Twayn's World

Play Me

2009-05-01T08:52:00.001-07:00

Time for some random music:

01. Whipping Post - Allman Brothers Band
02. Little Bit of Soul - Music Explosion
03. Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman
04. Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
05. Heart of Gold - Neil Young
06. If I Had a Million Dollars - Bare Naked Ladies
07. It's All Right - Travelling Wilburys
08. Black Country Woman - Led Zeppelin
09. Ride Captain Ride - Blues Image
10. Kind of a Drag - The Buckinghams
11. Cinderella - Firefall

Requiem for a Father

2009-04-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Aug. 17, 1935 - April 26, 2008

Second String

My father was a football hero
in the days of leather helmets.
Years later he handed off to me,

calling plays from the sideline.
He wanted me to learn the thrill
of cleats digging chunks of turf,
of Hemingway grace on the line.

On Fridays I ate bloody meat
and potatoes, kept my vigil
in a locker room that smelled
of musty dreams and stale sweat.

Before the kickoff
I scanned the crowd,
would see him through eyes

that could only look back.
As the ball spiraled away
I led the charge downfield,

threw myself into blockers
as I once did into his arms.

Play Me

2009-04-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

01. Instant Karma - John Lennon
02. What's Goin' On - Marvin Gaye
03. Everyday People - Sly and the Family Stone
04. Free Four - Pink Floyd
05. Mama Told Me Not To Come - Three Dog Night
06. Hillbillies from Outer Space - The Vaughan Brothers
07. Too Late to Turn Back Now - Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose
08. Green Eyed Lady - Sugarloaf
09. On the Turning Away - Pink Floyd
10. Cavatina - John Williams
11. Bron-Yr-Aur - Led Zeppelin

The Sky is Crying

2009-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

Game 16: Red Stockings 7, Twins 3
Game 15: Red Stockings 10, Twins 1

Some days you win, some days you lose, and some days it rains. Some days it rains and you lose, and then it rains some more and you lose again. Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed if you're the visiting team at Fenway in the springtime. I hope the Twins can write off this series as an anomaly and move on to the next one. But it does seem against common sense for anybody to be grateful about going to Cleveland.

Mind over Matter

2009-04-21T10:17:00.001-07:00

I think Mark Twain said it best: "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

Or maybe it was Chili Davis who said it best: "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."

Either way, I'm a year older today than I was yesterday, I don't mind, and I'm still not ready to grow up. The Twins kick off a short 2-game series with the Bloody Sox today, then finish their road trip with 3 at Cleveland over the weekend. I won't be able to watch much of the game tonight (Baker vs. Wakefield) because I'll be doing the obligatory birthday party with the family at a local pizza joint. I just hope we don't set off any fire alarms with the cake.

A Clean Sweep

2009-04-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

Game 14: Angels 1, Twins 3

What a difference a few days make. When Toronto left town, dragging our dignity behind them like the Griswold family dog, things looked bleak for the hometown nine. But three games versus the Angels fixed that right up.

I took the family to the game today, where the highlights were Perkins' 8-inning, 1-run pitching performance, enough offense from the bottom of the lineup to rack up 3 runs of our own, and the nachos with jalapenos at the 7th inning stretch.

Game pictures are courtesy of Daughter the Elder.

That's More Like It

2009-04-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

Game 13: Angels 2, Twins 9

No lengthy post tonight, I got a better offer. It involves a bottle of wine, a baguette, and cheese. Just a few random thoughts about tonight's game:

Torii absolutely crushed that 2-run homer, but I don't much care for either of his faces these days.
I'm no conspiracy nut, but I'm starting to think there's a reason you never see Kevin Slowey and Brad Radke together. Tonight Slowey turned in a classic Radke performance, including the first inning home run. Slowey tossed a total of 7 innings, giving up just 2 runs on 6 hits and notching 5 strikeouts and his second win. He bascially made just one mistake all night. I'll take that every time from K-Slow.
The defense has been pretty good the last couple of games. I can tell because I haven't really noticed the defense the last couple of games.
Jason Kubel needs an asbestos suit. The Dude is so hot right now he could spontaneously combust. He followed up Friday's heroics by going 4-5 tonight, driving in 2 and scoring 3 times to raise his batting average to .344 and his OPS to 1.029. I love an OPS over 1.00.
Easy to overlook given Kubel's showing, our favorite Canadian is swinging a pretty solid stick himself. Justin went 2-5 against the Angels tonight, driving in one and scoring twice.
Brendan Harris, who has been giving a struggling Alexi Casilla a rest at 2nd base, is also raking. He was 3-5 tonight with 2 runs. Small sample size still applies, but his batting average sits at .435, and he's got an OPS of 1.069. Did I mention that I love an OPS over 1.00?
I'm going to temporarly give Delm_n his O back. He earned it tonight, going 2-3 with an uncharacteristic walk and 3 runs batted in. Way tO gO, DelmOn.
We're off to the Dome tomorrow, hoping to see another win and a series sweep over the Angels. This has been a long stretch of games to start the season, 14 in a row, and I'm sure the boys could use a breather. I just hope they wait until after Sunday's game to take it.

Breaking Away

2009-04-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

Game 12: Angels 9, Twins 11

Jason Kubel did more than the improbable tonight; he did the unbelievable. The Belle Fourche Bomber, with a single, double, and triple already under his belt, came to the plate in the 8th inning with 2 outs and hopes for a win as low as the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Down by 2 runs to the Angels, the Twins had posted single runs in the 1st, 3rd, 6th, and 7th, but never managed to put together the kind of big inning their opponents have been reeling off with disturbing regularity lately. Until the 8th inning. Until Jason Kubel, who had struck out in his previous at-bat, stepped like a Colossus into the batter's box with a chance to complete an unlikely rally in an even more unlikely way -- by hitting for the cycle.

Most of what happened before is still a bit of a blur, the sort of forgettable, uninspired baseball that has had Twins fans as uncomfortable lately as the thought of Jason Giambi wearing a gold lame thong. I remember Kubel stroking a double in the 1st to drive in Justin Morneau from first base. And Brendan Harris mashing a solo homer in the 3rd. Then a flurry of Angels singles in the 5th that gave the visitors a one run lead. A 2-out single in the 6th off the bat of Joe Crede brought Kubel home to even the score at 3.

It was in the 7th inning that everything went south for Nick Blackburn and the Twins. Way south. Tierra del Fuego south. Fast approaching 100 pitches, Blackburn went back out to the mound and immediately gave up a single to Chone Figgins, who proceeded to steal second and advance to third on a sacrifice bunt. And that ended the night for Blackburn. In came Jesse Crain, who has been as impressive as the Grand Canyon this year. Until tonight. Tonight Crain could not have made a good impression in the sidewalk if he fell off the top of the Empire State building. A long 30 pitches, 2 hits, 2 walks, and 2 runs later, Crain would exit the game, relieved by Matt Guerrier. He would fare slightly better, giving up a run on 2 hits.

So things were looking bad with the Twins down 8-4 at the stretch. I mean bad. Like forgetting your anniversary. Like investing your retirement fund with Bernie Madoff. Like Nick Punto trying to bunt. That bad. Even a Brendan Harris sacrifice fly that scored Punto from third in the bottom half of the inning inspired little optimism. And that was quickly snatched away when the Angels matched the Twins sac fly with one of their own in the 8th to extend their lead to 9-4. Things were looking way too familiar for Twins fans at that point. Familiar and depressing. But things were about to change.

Micheal Cuddyer led off the bottom of the 8th with a single, which seemed like a case of too little, too late. But the Angels were about to show that the Twins aren't the only team with a bullpen that causes more acid reflux than Taco Bell. After a Brian Buscher strikeout and a Joe Crede walk, Mike Redmond stroked a single to right field. Nick Punto walked. Denard Span advanced the rally with a 2-run double, and faster than you can say "WTF?" the Twins were right back in the ballgame with the tying run on second and the winning run coming to the plate in the imposing personage of Justin Morneau. And then Angels manager Mike Sciocia blinked. He might even have flinched a bit, and he deciding to walk the MVP in order to pitch to Kubel.

And that's when Jason Kubel decided to break away. With an 0-1 count, reliever Jason Bulger tossed a letter-high offering over the outer half of the plate. Kubel invoked Newton's Third Law of Motion and redirected the pitch with authority to the upper deck in right field, completing the cycle in historic fashion -- he's just the sixth AL player ever to hit for the cycle with a grand slam -- and launching the Twins into an 11-9 lead.

Enter Joe Nathan in the top of the 9th and 6 pitches later the game was over, but the celebration was just getting started.

Play Me

2009-04-17T08:21:00.001-07:00

01. Outta Space - Billly Preston
02. Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross and the Supremes
03. Grazin' in the Grass - Friends of Distinction
04. Brandy - Looking Glass
05. Stars - Les Miserables Soundtrack (OBCR)
06. Smiling Faces - The Undisputed Truth
07. Slow Ride - Foghat
08. Ball of Confusion - The Temptations
09. Trampled Under Foot - Led Zeppelin
10. Easy Lover - Phil Collins and Phil Bailey

Is The Sky Falling Already?

2009-04-16T23:37:00.000-07:00

Game 11: Blue Jays 9, Twins 2

Nice bullpen.

I'm off to buy a new hat. And a box. And some beer.

#42

2009-04-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

Game 10: Blue Jays 12, Twins 2

Some things are more important than others, and you have to keep your priorities straight. Tonight's game was an example of that. It was one of those frustrating games that happen over the course of a 162 game season, when your starting pitcher is trying to shake off the rust of a rehab assignment and can't command his pitches and the opposing team's bats are hot enough to raise blisters. Meanwhile, your own lineup that struggled to manufacture enough runs to eek out a victory the night before is struggling to manufacture runs again.

Tom Kelly was fond of saying that momentum is today's starting pitcher. If that's the case, tonight Scott Baker stopped his team dead in its tracks, and the bats could not muster the gumption to get out and push. Fortunately, in a season as long as major league baseball's, you get a few mulligans. That's really the best way to think about tonight's game, as a mulligan, an attempt so embarrassingly bad you are granted a sympathy attempt with penalty waived by mutual accord. With a win tomorrow, we would still salvage a series split with Toronto before heading into the weekend series with the Angels. Stranger things have happened. Like the '69 Mets, for instance. And Jason Tyner, designated hitter.

So it was a bad game for Scott Baker coming off the DL, giving up 6 runs on 5 hits and 2 walks, with the real soul crushers the 4 home runs surrendered. And it was a bad game for the bullpen, with Humber, Dickey, and Ayala combining to give up another 6 runs on 11 hits. And it was a bad game for the offense, which only managed 4 hits and 5 total bases off a 29-year old rookie just two years removed from pitching for the Edmonton Cracker-Cats against the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks. Yeah, it was a perfect storm of sucking, a trifecta of turrible. But it's a long season. I'm shaking this one off. Because there was something more significant about tonight's game than the outcome, something bigger than the final score. It was there in the number 42 worn by every player and coach and manager in major league baseball, a reminder of something historic, and courageous, and important.

But tomorrow night, when everybody is wearing their regular uniform number, and nobody is wearing number 42, then I'm all about the winning again. Because you have to keep your priorities straight.

Taking The Bad With The Good

2009-04-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Game 9: Blue Jays 2, Twins 3

Look, here's the deal. It wasn't exactly pretty. Nobody would say it was pretty. But how shallow would I have to be to not celebrate a win like this one just because it didn't meet my particular cosmetic standards? How devoid of character would I be to turn my back on Lady Nike just because she took a spill from the ugly tree and hit all the branches on the way down?

Oh, sure, I could dwell on the less attractive aspects, the moles and warts and the heartbreak of psoriasis. I could point out that Delmon Young struck out again tonight, the 7th time in just 19 at-bats so far this year, and that he has yet to draw a walk. Or that his 1-for-4 performance tonight actually raised his sub-Mendoza batting average, and that when he bats he has all the discipline of a two-year old ogling the forbidden candy at the checkout counter and contemplating a tantrum. But that would be counterproductive. Instead, I'm going to think about Delmon unhitching the plow and sprinting all the way to the bullpen to make a great sliding catch on a long foul ball. Because, let's face it, that's as rare as steak tartare.

I could focus on the wrinkles and sags, like Mr. Gardenhire's proclivity to let all of his left-handed starting pitchers not named Liriano go one toke over the line before calling the bullpen, especially if it means asking Joe Nathan to get - GASP - four whole outs. But that wouldn't change the fact that Glen Perkins pitched a dandy game tonight, scattering 7 hits over 8 innings while surrendering just 2 runs and striking out 4. Or that when Joe Nathan did make it into the game with the score tied at 2 in the 9th, he put down the Blue Jays 1-2-3 on some routine grounders and a fly ball, and looked like he could have maybe coaxed just one more out from that fragile right limb. Or that Jesse Crain, who maybe should have been given the nod over Ayala last night, tossed two fine frames of relief with two strikeouts to keep the Twins hopes alive in extra innings and collect The Win.

That horse collar around Cuddyer's neck tonight? Not paying any attention to that, nor to how bad his at-bats look when he doesn't make contact. Nope. Not gonna do it. If you can't say something nice about someone, yada yada yada. No, I'd rather contemplate Denard Span leading off for the next five years, and going 2-for-5 every night. I'm going to look at our Canadian clubber and think about his 3 hits, that double and the extra innings bleeder that kept the game alive with two outs, and going first to home with the game on the line. I'm going to think about his .324 batting average and his .901 OPS. And I'm going to see no evil and hear no evil and speak no evil. At least for tonight. At least about Justin.

I think I can even ignore that unfortunate at-bat when Joe Crede grounded into the inning-ending double play with bases loaded and a chance to blow the game open. If I just close my eyes and deny it real hard, I can't see it at all anymore. All I can see is 2 doubles, the second one a hard hit fly ball to right center field that Vernon Wells plays off the wall, and the relay throw that's too late and too wide to tag a sliding Morneau as he crosses the plate with the winning run. I'm pretty sure I'm going to see that one again a few times in my head before I get to sleep tonight. And I've decided I'm going to do my best over the next six months to appreciate this team for what it is, flaws and failings and all.

Because I'm deep like that, you know? Complex. Nuanced. And on occasion, redundant.

Bloated Yet Sadly Unsatisfied

2009-04-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

Game 8: Blue Jays 8, Twins 6

Watching this game was a lot like eating at the Old Country Buffet -- there was plenty of just about everything, but not much of it was really any good. That, and it gave me gas.

There were a lot of hits - 32 in all, 19 of them by the Blue Jays (and 58 of those were by Alex Rios).
There were a lot of double plays - 3 by us, 2 by them. Ours included two close 6-4-3 combos with Casilla doing some kind of Baryshnikov thing on the turn, plus a rare 3-3-5 scoring play started by Morneau and completed by Buscher. Theirs left an unpleasant aftertaste.
There were close plays that could have gone either way depending on the umpire's call, but that didn't go our way. Apparently, dimples and magic tricks don't get you as far with umpires as they do with Gardy.
There was a sampler of ill-advised bunting (it's not always redundant). Personally, I only nibble on the stuff, but there are some people who can't stop themselves.
There were 4 home runs, including Jason Kubel's first of the season, and two for the Jays by Travis Snider, who pretty much owns Twins pitching.
There were extra helpings of doubles, 4 by the Twins and 3 by the Jays, with a rare Brian Buscher triple on the side.
There were good bullpen decisions, like using Craig Breslow to strike out Lind, and bad bullpen decisions. Going to Luis Ayala was one of the bad ones. Going to Luis Ayala always will be one of the bad ones.
There were 16 men left on base by both teams, and twice the Twins got a runner to third with no outs, yet failed to score the run. That's like getting to the dessert counter to find the chocolate cake, apple pie, and soft-serve ice cream are all gone and the only thing left is some glutenous tapioca pudding.
There were 10 pitchers used, 5 by each team. Their bullpen got a win, a hold, and a save. Ours got two holds, a blown save, and a loss. Kevin Slowey didn't really pitch well enough to deserve the win, and he also didn't deserve the kick in the groin that Ayala delivered. But as Clint Eastwood pointed out in Unforgiven, deserve's got nothing to do with it.
There were 3 hours and 10 minutes of the humdrum muddled by mediocrity. And despite all of the hitting and running around the bases and chasing after balls in the gap, this game was as exciting as watching the FieldTurf not grow.

Next time I'm taking some Zantac before I watch the game. Or maybe some Xanax. I always get those two confused. Either way, I'm sure I'll feel better when it's over.

Mysterious Ways

2009-04-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Game 7: Twins 1, White Sox 6
Game 6: Twins 0, White Sox 8

On second thought, perhaps wishing for revenge on Good Friday was not such a wise idea.
The gloating probably didn't help, either. Sorry about that. My bad.

Appetizers

2009-04-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

Game 5: Twins 12, White Sox 5

That was good. I'm ready for second helpings.

Simmer 6 Months, Serve Cold

2009-04-10T10:31:00.001-07:00

The Twins open a 3-game series with the Chicago Whine Sox at that heavy industrial complex known as US Cellular Field tonight. It is their first meeting since the Sox beat the Twins in a 1-game playoff to determine the AL Central Championship last year. And I want revenge. I want it bad. I'm talking about Wrath of Khan type revenge. Captain Ahab revenge. Corleone Family revenge. Seething and relentless. I'm talking about revenge at the Major League level here. I want the Twins to drink their milkshake. Drink it up, boys! Coin toss, my ass.

Random Acts of Music

2009-04-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

01. One - Three Dog Night
02. Texas Flood - Stevie Ray Vaughan
03. Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
04. Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd
05. Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
06. At Last - Christine Aguilera
07. After Midnight - JJ Cale
08. Highway Song - Blackfoot
09. Green Grass and High Tides - The Outlaws
10. Groovin' - The Rascals

Bonus Track:
Chances Are - Bob Seger and Martina McBride

The Washburn Cannonball

2009-04-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

Game 4: Mariners 2, Twins 0

(With apologies to Roy Acuff)

This Washburn guy is washed up, so the northern people say,
From Austin up to Warroad and in St. Paul, by the way,
Across the lakes of Minnesota where the sky blue waters fall,
Why can't we drive a run in on the Washburn Cannonball?

Listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar,
As he walks onto the playing field to the hill, and note the score,
Hear the rush of the mighty fastball, hear the baffled hitters call,
He's mowing down our lineup, he’s the Washburn Cannonball.

He pulled into the Metrodome one sunny April day,
As he sat down all our hitters you could hear the people say,
There’s that guy from the Badger State, he’s long and he is tall,
He came in and shut us down, he’s the Washburn Cannonball.

Listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar,
As he walks onto the playing field to the hill, and note the score,
Hear the rush of the mighty fastball, hear the baffled hitters call,
Never seen such wicked stuff from the Washburn Cannonball.

Now here’s to middling southpaws, with stats that look so bland,
They’ll always be remembered by the Twins fans in this land,
His first start of the season’s done and as the curtain falls,
We won’t forget how Washburn shut us out and broke our balls.

Listen to the jingle, the rumble and the roar,
As he walks onto the playing field to the hill, and note the score,
Hear the rush of the mighty fastball, hear the baffled hitters call,
He's mowing down our lineup, he’s the Washburn Cannonball.

Two Wins! (Say It Really Fast)

2009-04-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

Game 3: Mariners 5, Twins 6

After two days of watching other teams hit home runs and get rave reviews, the Twins tonight decided it was time to get in on the act. They raised the curtain in the first inning with reigning Home Run Derby champion and Royal Canadian Mounted Baseball Crusher ~~Jason~~ Justin Morneau putting a tattoo that would make a sailor blush on a pipeline offering from former Twin Carlos Silva. The blast way over the right field Baggie broke Morneau's two game hitless streak of 10 plate appearances, the sound barrier, and a plastic Metrodome seat.

In the second inning, AaronGleeman.com approved leadoff hitter Denard Span followed up with his own two run shot. Morneau, Gomez, and Cuddyer would add a little insult to injury with doubles, and by the time five innings had run their course Twins hitters had treated the svelte, trimmed down Silva to 6 runs on 8 hits and a chubby 10.80 earned run average. Put that in your commercials, SlimFast.

Unfortunately (there's always an unfortunately if you look hard enough) on the other side of the ball Kevin Slowey was succumbing to the same virulent strain of Longballus Surrenderii that gave Nick Blackburn and Francisco Liriano varying degrees of gastrointestinal distress in the first two games of this series. Gardy's probably feeling a little dyspeptic about it by now, too. Slowey gave up homers to Russell Branyan in the first and Jose Lopez in the fourth, in all 9 hits and 5 runs over 6 innings.

On the bright side (there's always a bright side if you look hard enough) the Slow Hand managed to rack up 5 strikeouts, and he left the game with a 1-run lead to pick up the first win by a Twins starter this year. Also on the bright side, he's really Brad Radke with a bionic arm and eye and one of those rubber masks that they peel off at the end of Mission Impossible episodes. So with a few minor calibration adjustments he'll be fine.

Other highlights from tonight's game included:

Another baby butt smooth Crede-to-Casilla-to-Morneau double play. I'm telling you, we're going to see a lot of those this year.
The Curious Case of the Effective Setup Men, featuring Craig Breslow, who walked Ken Griffey, Jr. in the opener but struck out Junior tonight, and Jesse Crain, whose only fault is having the reputation of Mrs. O'Leary's cow. The relief pair allowed just one base runner each - and no runs - over two innings to set up the closer in the ninth.
Joe Nathan throwing serious smoke in his first appearance of the year and collecting his 200th save. Caps off to you, Mr. Nathan.
Two-out hitting! Man, it feels good to say that again. I think I will. Two-out hitting!
Taking sole possession of first place in the American League Central. Carpe Diem.

That's it for tonight. Day game tomorrow. Play nice.

Post Scriptum: I would note for the record that tonight Justin Morneau es mas macho than Alexi Casilla and most longshoremen.

¿Quién Es Más Macho?

2009-04-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

Game 2: Mariners 5, Twins 6

Diminutive Alexi Casilla had exactly one hit tonight, but it was the biggest hit of the young season so far -- a bases loaded, two-out, bottom of the ninth shot to short center field that drove in the tying and winning runs. Swinging on the first pitch, Casilla's little liner capped a come from behind win that, we may hope, provides the spark that gets the team rolling on a nice winning streak. I just know it was fun to watch after a long winter and a disappointing opening game, even more so because I was ready to pencil this one into the loss column, too. But that would have been premature, and goodness knows nobody likes that.

Denard Span continues to impress as a leadoff hitter. After drawing two walks in five trips to the plate last night, D-Span shifted gears this evening, going 3-for-5 with two RBI and a run scored. Michael Cuddyer's dimples had one hit each and drove in two runs. GoGo's triple got the heart pumping and rekindled a bit of hope. But in the end, it was our 1-2-3 hitters who combined to drive in all 6 Twins runs, and none were bigger than Casilla's 2 RBI.

That's the good news. Meanwhile, our best hitter is still hurt, his replacement is also now hurt, and his replacement's replacement would have difficulty hitting the ground if he fell off a building. Oh, and his replacement's replacement's replacement is starting his first full season of AAA ball. Not that I'm one to say I told you so, but don't catching Molinas pretty much grow on trees? If Mauer doesn't come back soon, Billy Smith might want to buy himself a replacement level or better behind-the-plate insurance policy. Also meanwhile, a certain brawny Canadian is 0-for-2009 and looks like a gutshot moose at the plate. And the Anchorman at the plate tonight looked like the Anchorman at the plate early last year when nobody doubted his talent and everybody kept reminding everybody that he was only 22. I know it's a very, very small sample size, but I'm also just irrational enough to not care when we're behind by a few and there are runners in scoring position.

Speaking of runners in scoring position, Nick Blackburn had a rough night on the mound in his first start of the season, giving up 8 hits and 4 runs over 5 inning. Blackie didn't help himself with 3 uncharacteristic walks, either. But in a switch from last night's script, tonight the bullpen stepped up. Mostly. Humber and Guerrier combined to shut down the Mariners over 3 innings, setting the stage for Ayala to swoop in for the ninth and get a vulture Win even though he gave up a run on two hits. Thanks to the heroics of the bottom of the ninth, though, Ayala's night ended on a much better note than Brandon Morrow's or Miguel Batista's. Morrow, after notching one strikeout, immediately walked Gomez and pinch-hitters Kubel and Buscher. Enter Batista, who surrendered a run on a Span chopper to third that left Beltre with no play, and the deciding runs of the game on Casilla's walk-off Texas Leaguer.

Which brings us, finally, because I'm tired and I wanna go to bed (I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went righ to my head) to the question in the title of this post: ¿Quién es más macho, Justin Morneau o Alexi Casilla? Es facil. Alexi Casilla es más macho.

One last thing. Based on Chuck Merriweather's strike zone tonight I think umpires should have to take drug tests, too. Just sayin'.

At Last

2009-04-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

Game 1: Mariners 6, Twins 1

I recall a bit of profane schoolyard rhyme from my youth that went something like this:

Hooray! Horray! It's the first of May!
Outdoor humping begins today!

Humping, of course, is a euphemism. And I have never celebrated the first of May in the way suggested by the aforementioned couplet. More's the pity.

But I could easily revise that little rhyme and it would work just as well for what I feel on this day every year.

Hooray! Hooray! It's Opening Day!
Baseball season begins today!

The only thing that would have made this Opening Day better would have been a Twins win. And I have to admit, I'm really starting to dislike the Mariners. They haven't reached the level of White Sox loathing, but they are moving in that direction. I never felt that way before last season, though, and the West Coast road trip from hell when the Twins bullpen all got diarrhea at the same time. Not literally, of course. That's just a colorful metaphor for the way they pitched. Some of them could probably have used a little Pepto Bismol tonight.

For the record, I love baseball, not just certain teams or players. I have partisan leanings, but I can enjoy the accomplishment of a rival when it's warranted. Hey, it was nice to see Junior in the Mariner dugout again, and I'll admit it, I shook my head in grudging respect a little when he hit that shot over the baggy. But only a little. And then I stopped. You don't want to overdo that kind of stuff.

So, Opening Day. Just one day. But it's not too soon to see some indicators. Liriano looked good tonight, a far cry from his first starts last year. I like the way he used the whole strike zone, working the changeup more and the slider less, getting a lot of ground balls. Encouraging.

I like the way our defense looks this year, especially if you mix Delmon in as rarely as possible, and then probably to replace Cuddyer in right field. I like Span's defense and bat too much to leave either one on the bench these days. He made a couple of catches in left tonight that would have put knots in the Anchorman's* jockstrap. And that's being kind.

The left side of the infield looks solid with Punto and Crede taking over from last year's failures, Lamb and Everett, and their replacements, the Buscher/Harris platoon. The right side, well, no matter what Dick and Bert say, Morneau's not ready for a gold glove just yet. He's improved, to be sure, but he's still got room for improvement. Sorry, I still use Dougie Baseball** as the gold standard for first base defense. As for Casilla, he's young and is still going to be prone to youthful error. Some things you just have to live with.

Overall, though, I'm liking the starting pitching and defense and the depth of the bench. But what I would really like is some offense. That's the part of the game where you get people on base and then get hits and the guys on base run around the bases and score runs. I'd like it if Morneau and Cuddyer and Kubel stepped it up with runners in scoring position. I'd like to see Joe Mauer back in the lineup before I have to pay my taxes. And after tonight you can't blame me for thinking this is going to be a team that takes a little while to get going and hit its stride. More's the pity.

*Delmon Young is known as the Anchorman because of his shocking lack of mobility in the outfield.

**Doug Mientkiewicz is known as Dougie Baseball because, well, it's a long story...

Random Acts of Music

2009-04-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Time to power up the Samsung Y-K3 and see what it spits out:

01. Low Rider - War
02. Just My Imagination - The Temptations
03. Any Colour You Like - Pink Floyd
04. Baby, Baby Don't Cry - Smokey Robinson and The Miracles
05. Snake Eyes - Alan Parsons Project
06. Tick Tock People - The Vaughan Brothers
07. Soul Man - Sam and Dave
08. Green River - Credence Clearwater Revival
09. Vigilante Man - Ry Cooder
10. Incense and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock

Bonus Track:
With Opening Day just around the corner, this one goes out to my sister-in-law Deb and good buddy Mac, die-hard Cubs fans to the end.

The Size of the Dog

2009-04-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, we have a good, young, deep starting rotation. Yes, we have depth in the outfield, and some arms that will surely give opposing base-runners pause before trying to stretch a single into a double. We have speed on the bases. We should have better defense, especially on the left side of the infield. And we have a batting lineup that can do considerable damage when they aren't hitting into double plays and sliding headfirst onto the disabled list. In other words, the Twins are as well situated to contend for the AL Central this year as they have been in the past decade.

So please, please do not predict that the Twins will win the division this year. Especially if you are a sportswriter or a blogger with an audience larger than your immediate family (that rules me out). Because when people who are considered experts by virtue of having a byline pick the Twins to win things, that's when they don't win things. I don't care how trendy it might be to pick the Twins to win the division, these boys do not do well in the harsh glow of the spotlight. They are not the fuggin' Yankees. They are underdogs. They have always been underdogs. They will always be underdogs. And that's the way we like it, Shoeshine Boy.

Programming Note

2009-03-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up all excited to watch the Twins game today and got hit with a good news, bad news conundrum. The good news is today's Twins game is on local broadcast, cable, Internet, and satellite TV so just about everyone who wants to can watch it. The bad news is it's raining in Ft. Myers this morning. I suppose I could watch a little NCAA tourney or see if Tiger can make up 6 strokes in the Arnold Palmer Invitational. But I really wanted to see the Twins today. Spring Training is almost over, pitchers are getting stretched out, hitters are getting their timing down, and the regulars are getting the bulk of the playing time. Maybe this is just a reminder that no matter how nice the new stadium is next year, we're going to have to get used to dealing with rain delays. Don't forget your poncho.

Tasty Links

2009-03-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

Did you know that in 2004, Lew Ford led the Twins in OPS? Or that Brad Radke led the Twins with the lowest ERA for six consecutive seasons from 1995-2000, a feat unmatched by any other Twins pitcher? Or that the Minnesota Twins first manager was a guy named Cookie? You would if you spent some time checking out the Minnesota Twins Team History and Encyclopedia page at Baseball-Reference.com.

Random Acts of Music

2009-03-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of my cybertime at The World's Greatest Online Magazine (The WGOM), run by StickandBallGuy (SBG). Part of our Friday routine there is to put our mp3 players on shuffle and post the first ten random songs that come up. Here's what I came up with this week:

01. Sorrow - Pink Floyd
02. Caruso - Paul Potts
03. Backstabbers - The O'Jays
04. Treat Her Like a Lady - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose
05. Walkin' on the Sun - Smashmouth
06. In the Light - Led Zeppelin
07. Heartache by the Numbers - Martina McBride
08. Mama Told Me Not to Come - Three Dog Night
09. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
10. Since You've Been Gone - Theory of a Deadman

You can probably tell I'm into the old school stuff.

The Best Laid Plans

2009-03-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

I love it when a plan comes together. But you can't always count on things going according to plan. Tonight, for example, I had a plan. It went something like this:

1. Turn on television at 6:00 p.m. CST.
2. Tune television to FSNHD.
3. Open bottle of Grain Belt Premium.
4. Sit down on couch.
5. Watch the Twins game.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 as necessary.

That was a pretty good plan in my book. Simple and straightforward. But terribly flawed, it turns out, because it failed to account for external influences. What actually happened was this:

1. Turned on television at 6:00 p.m. CST.
2. Tuned television to FSNHD. Nothing there due to lack of HD broadcasting capability at spring training games. Tuned television to FSN. Realized I'm terribly spoiled by HDTV.
3. Daughter the Younger, frantically trying to complete English project assigned 2 weeks prior, begs for help.
4. Spent 30 minutes helping Daughter the Younger.
5. Watched 7 minutes of baseball game.
6. Listened to baseball game while driving to high school to pick up Daughter the Elder from her behind-the-wheel driving lesson.
7. Drove home, listening to baseball game with one ear while consoling Daughter the Elder because her driving instructor is an insensitive jerk.
8. Arrived home at 7:15 p.m. CST.
9. Found Wife watching American Idol and Daughter the Younger needing more help with project.
10. Realized I was totally screwed, there was no way to salvage my plan, and that I would not get to watch the baseball game.
11. Cursed internally and surrendered to circumstances beyond my control.

I love it when a plan comes together. But you can't always count on things.

Boogie Oogie Oogie

2009-03-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

The 1991 Minnesota Twins are remembered for many things, most notably beating the Atlanta Braves in one of the greatest World Series ever contested. The dancing, not so much.

A Short Preface

2009-03-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hello. Welcome to my blog. I hope you like it here. I hope I like it here.

I only have one rule: Play nice, dammit.

I reserve the right to add more rules if anarchy threatens.

For the past several years I have been reading blogs, commenting on blogs, contributing to blogs, and commenting on contributing to blogs, yet never had a blog of my own. Until now.

This is my blog, and this is the city. Minneapolis, Minnesota. I work here. I'm a writer. Twins baseball is my beat.

The WBC is over, Opening Day is a couple of weeks away, and we have a catcher problem. Our good catcher is broken, and our other catcher is not-so-young-anymore, and our other other catcher is Drew Butera. Or Jose Morales.

Yeah, Drew Butera. Or Jose Morales.

We have a catcher problem, and I for one would like to know what Billy Smith is going to do to fix it.

Play nice, dammit.